MY MOM REVIEWS MY PHOTOS

HIGH FIVES AND HUGS TO ALL OUR FURBALL FANS

My Mom and Toby would like to say…

Dear Tumblr Friends,

A year ago Tanner invited me to take part in what I thought to be another one of his crazy antics. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that “My Mom Reviews My Photos” would last more than a day, but here we are. With his leading lady, Vicki, and best supporting actor, Rigby, and a whimsical costume designer from the streets of New York, I threw all inhibitions to the wayside and became the critic alongside my faithful dog, Toby.

Who would have thought that re-gifted furball hats would have attracted so many fans. That’s downright scary. The simplicity of Tanner’s Polaroid photos in the age of high tech, shot in random locations, spurred a curiosity among many talented PHOTOGRAPHISTS, a term new to my vocabulary. I became somewhat computer savvy and was introduced to “blogging” for the first time. Hopefully, my daily exercise of trying to think of a witty caption for daily photos has postponed early onset of Alzheimer’s.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your photos and the personal tour of your respective countries. And MUM’s the word. I have developed a PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY of beaches to fresh markets, John C’s beautiful daughters, the guy by the shower curtain, a name like Laviebelem which sounds very fragrant, a guy who honors his deceased family in a most adoring way, and sketches by groupies (Andre and I will not hang myself) who sent Tanner and Vicki awesome drawings. I experienced great relief when I learned that ” I WILL NOT HANG MYSELF TODAY” is only a poem. It has been my pleasure to be involved in this project and I’ve had the time of my life (just like Patrick Swayze, RIP). You guys complete me (Tom Cruise).

So my claim to fame is nearing its end and even if I had gotten on “Ellen”, my fear of flying may have gotten in the way. So I have decided to take the buyout from Tanner (which will be in the form of an IOU, most likely) and move on to being just a mom and Grammy Pammy, business as usual. I will miss getting up early in the morning to make my critiques over microwave pancakes and a mocha frappe from McDonald’s. Yep, still boycotting Starbucks over that bra-ha-ha.

I’ve been thinking that maybe the furballs could be made into wax replicas like LADY GAGA, and those God awful hats would make a wonderful contribution to the Smithsonian, right next to Monica Lewinsky’s infamous dress. Uh-huh. So today is Toby Tuesday, and sort of against my religion, but hats off to “All Over the Fucking Place” for being so daring. That’s only the third time I ever said that word out loud, I believe.

Have a wonderful holiday and maybe 2011 will inspire something new to Tumblr, who knows, maybe it will finally get the letter “e”. And if Sarah Palin “shoots her eye out”, maybe I’ll run in 2012. I’ll end with a quote by one of Tanner’s all time favs…

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate Goodbyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” — Charles M. Schulz

And we (Tanner and Vicki) would like to add…

We’re not really sure what to say except that we feel like we might cry. It’s been a really fun run and after reading my mom’s letter we’re not quite sure that we are going to be able to quit this thing for good. Time will tell…

That being said, thank you so much to everyone who has been generous to silly blog! Knowing that every now and then we’d put smiles on some of your faces has been the most rewarding part of this entire project, by far. Most of our photos were usually rather “specific” in nature and it’s really cool knowing that every now and then someone besides us would enjoy them.

It goes without saying that we sure are glad we switched over to Tumblr after spending our first three months on Word Press. The community here has been incredible and inspires us on a daily basis. We wish we had time to name name’s but we need to be on an airplane in a few hours and we hate the thought of leaving anyone out. 

We would, however, like to briefly mention our friend “All Over the F*ing Place”. He was one of the first folks to “like” any of our posts and my mom literally could not get over the title of his blog. Every time I’d talk to her she’d say “Can you believe that guy’s blog name?, I wonder if his mom knows about his blog?”. For a while he disappeared off our radar and my mom would actually check in with me to see if he was doing all right. Even to this day it’s quite clear that she is still amazed by the guy who really is “all over the f*ing place”. 

Once again, from the bottom of our furball hearts please accept big virtual high fives and hugs. If by chance you would like to keep up with some of our other creative projects please consider following our other tumblr, Tanner Blog.  

Just like Frosty we probably will be back again some day, just probably not every day, and most likely not for a while. 

Have an awesome holiday and a happy New Year!

Tanner, Vicki, Pam, Toby, and Rigby

SMOKING FOR DUMMIES

My Mom and Toby say…

Surgeon General’s Warning: smoking may cause multiple fractures to the body.

1 Toby - Guess that depends on the contents of the cigarette. The contents of this photo are VERY disturbing to this mom. 

So we are a family of non smokers. I have never smoked a single cigarette and am under the impression my children have not either. Now Tanner’s dad smoked from the age of 14 until 29. His idol was the “Marlboro” man and his “Glory Days” we living in Casper, Wyoming. He wore the jean jacket with the sheepskin collar and Stetson hat, just like the guy on the billboard. He quit when he became “Married With Children”.

And I’d like to add…

Only 1 Toby!!! My mom’s final review of 2010 and perhaps ever and we only get 1 measly Toby!!! I demand a recount!!! This is an outrage!!!

That being said I’m pretty happy with this being our final photo as I feel it really captures the toll that being “The Furballs” for a year has taken on our bodies. It sounds rather pathetic as our photos are adequate at best, but before this project we exercised and slept a whole lot more. However, no matter how broken we may feel, we fight to maintain the cheer, thus the Santa Suits. 

FURBALL FAREWELL TOUR

Sadly today is probably going to be the end of “My Mom Reviews My Photos”. Vicki and I are heading to Japan tomorrow and it was decided a while back that this project would not continue in 2011. My Mom and Toby feel the same way. As silly as this project has been it nevertheless takes quite a bit of our time and energy to keep going, and all four of us (five if you count Rigby) need a break. I personally don’t count Rigby as he is a slacker who takes advantage of everyone with his cuteness.

That being said, we have a few treats planned to post later on today so please stay tuned. All that I ask is that once I post my Mom’s farewell letter this evening please “like” it and if possible leave her a nice message.  I’d really appreciate that, it will be the last thing posted here today.

Thank you kindly!

Tanner

“YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE” by Debbie Boone

My Mom and Toby say…

Maybe you’re getting ready to roast chestnuts on an open fire. Do people really eat those things?

4 Tobys - not promoting smoking, but keeping in line with the famous poem “and his head, the smoke encircled it like a wreath” - way to go, pipe smoking Santa, you should meet Miley.

This is how daughter Dustin (Tanner’s youngest sister) got her name: Doctor said it was a boy, so when a girl popped out I had just read People Magazine a few days before and Debbie Boone had just given birth to twin girls, Gabrielle and Dustin, so it came to be. Living in a very multi-cultural neighborhood of Arlington, VA at the time, my friends from India came bearing great gifts with cards made out to “Dustin Hoffman”. This is a true story, never will forget that day. Guess they didn’t know our last name or had just seen “Tootsie”.

And I’d like to add…

Imagine my disappointment when after nine months of being told that I was going to have a brother my folks walked in with a girl. Sure, they gave her a boy’s name, but still, not really the same. I couldn’t hit a girl.

SIGN OF THE TIMES

My Mom and Toby say…

5 Tobys for keeping the holiday spirit, unlike the Westboro Baptists Church whom I am in the midst of composing a letter to - FOR REAL. Ask Tanner about my previous letter writing campaigns. Don’t get this MOM mad.

Speaking of signs: My biggest fear, seeing Tanner and Vicki on Interstate 695 holding signs that read “Will Work For Food”. Really not that bad, since Tanner’s diet consists of chicken fingers, french fries, and pretzels. Just ask Vicki, that boy is picky picky.

And I’d like to add…

My mom is quite serious about writing letters when she is not happy. Off the top of my head she’s sent angry letters to the presidents of Honda, Six Flags, IHOP,  assorted hospitals, and Bank of America. And I know for a fact that she spent most of 2010 sending angry letters to one of Maryland’s most despicable slumlords. Because of my mom’s angry letters several low income apartments in Linthicum, Maryland finally have working air-conditioning and heat. I’m not joking, my mom really is a crusader for the people, and is proof that the pen can sometimes be mightier than the sword. Of course if she had a sword that would be pretty damn awesome.

STOCKING STUFFERS

My Mom and Toby say…

So now we know who was naughty and who was nice - Vicki, of course. She gets lovable Rigby and the boy gets the authentic Perdue oven STUFFER roaster, or maybe a French hen? Cluck, Cluck.

5 Tobys for keeping Spencer’s in business along with other weirdos who buy their adult games/toys.

I decided my next adventure after this blog — I want to be in a flash mob. Have you heard of it?  They had one at Annapolis Mall today, Rian told me about it. Never heard of it until I saw it on Modern Family with Rian, awesome.

And I’d like to add…

I feel like several of our recent outdoor furball shoots have been mini flash mobs in that suddenly we look up and there are a few groups of folks across the street looking confused and/or taking pictures of us.  I always wonder if they post those photos online and what they write about them. Anyway, the point is, someone please get my mom in a flash mob.

BOBBLE HEADS

My Mom and Toby say…

So bobbing for marshmallows, a new tradition.

Only 3 Tobys for redundancy. What is the shelf life of those marshmallows in your apartment?

CELEBRATING - Today is my 34th wedding anniversary to Tanner’s Dad. At least one of us has remembered thus far. Really don’t want any gifts. He bought his gift for a work party while I was in Virginia Beach, one of those games involving passing the gift. No one wanted his gift - a Wal-Mart paint your own wooden box from the craft department. This man is dangerous if left alone for too long. It was a $15 limit, but what about a Dunkin Donut gift card like everybody else?

In a talkative mood - so Michael Vick asked Santa for a new dog. Doesn’t Rite Aid still sell those Chia-Pets? Perfect. Where is MaGruff the time crime fighting dog when we need him.

And I’d like to add…

Hahaha! My mom is not exaggerating when she says that my dad has not actually left the house and purchased a Christmas gift for anyone in the last 20 years. The fact that when finally faced with the adversity of actually having to buy a gift he picks out a wooden box from Wal-Mart is almost too perfect. So awesome!

Also, I thought McGruff only fought regular crime, I didn’t realize he fought “time” crimes.