MY MOM REVIEWS MY PHOTOS

HIGH FIVES AND HUGS TO ALL OUR FURBALL FANS My Mom and Toby...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 21:49:00 -0500

HIGH FIVES AND HUGS TO ALL OUR FURBALL FANS

My Mom and Toby would like to say…

Dear Tumblr Friends,

A year ago Tanner invited me to take part in what I thought to be another one of his crazy antics. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that “My Mom Reviews My Photos” would last more than a day, but here we are. With his leading lady, Vicki, and best supporting actor, Rigby, and a whimsical costume designer from the streets of New York, I threw all inhibitions to the wayside and became the critic alongside my faithful dog, Toby.

Who would have thought that re-gifted furball hats would have attracted so many fans. That’s downright scary. The simplicity of Tanner’s Polaroid photos in the age of high tech, shot in random locations, spurred a curiosity among many talented PHOTOGRAPHISTS, a term new to my vocabulary. I became somewhat computer savvy and was introduced to “blogging” for the first time. Hopefully, my daily exercise of trying to think of a witty caption for daily photos has postponed early onset of Alzheimer’s.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your photos and the personal tour of your respective countries. And MUM’s the word. I have developed a PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY of beaches to fresh markets, John C’s beautiful daughters, the guy by the shower curtain, a name like Laviebelem which sounds very fragrant, a guy who honors his deceased family in a most adoring way, and sketches by groupies (Andre and I will not hang myself) who sent Tanner and Vicki awesome drawings. I experienced great relief when I learned that ” I WILL NOT HANG MYSELF TODAY” is only a poem. It has been my pleasure to be involved in this project and I’ve had the time of my life (just like Patrick Swayze, RIP). You guys complete me (Tom Cruise).

So my claim to fame is nearing its end and even if I had gotten on “Ellen”, my fear of flying may have gotten in the way. So I have decided to take the buyout from Tanner (which will be in the form of an IOU, most likely) and move on to being just a mom and Grammy Pammy, business as usual. I will miss getting up early in the morning to make my critiques over microwave pancakes and a mocha frappe from McDonald’s. Yep, still boycotting Starbucks over that bra-ha-ha.

I’ve been thinking that maybe the furballs could be made into wax replicas like LADY GAGA, and those God awful hats would make a wonderful contribution to the Smithsonian, right next to Monica Lewinsky’s infamous dress. Uh-huh. So today is Toby Tuesday, and sort of against my religion, but hats off to “All Over the Fucking Place” for being so daring. That’s only the third time I ever said that word out loud, I believe.

Have a wonderful holiday and maybe 2011 will inspire something new to Tumblr, who knows, maybe it will finally get the letter “e”. And if Sarah Palin “shoots her eye out”, maybe I’ll run in 2012. I’ll end with a quote by one of Tanner’s all time favs…

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate Goodbyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” — Charles M. Schulz

And we (Tanner and Vicki) would like to add…

We’re not really sure what to say except that we feel like we might cry. It’s been a really fun run and after reading my mom’s letter we’re not quite sure that we are going to be able to quit this thing for good. Time will tell…

That being said, thank you so much to everyone who has been generous to silly blog! Knowing that every now and then we’d put smiles on some of your faces has been the most rewarding part of this entire project, by far. Most of our photos were usually rather “specific” in nature and it’s really cool knowing that every now and then someone besides us would enjoy them.

It goes without saying that we sure are glad we switched over to Tumblr after spending our first three months on Word Press. The community here has been incredible and inspires us on a daily basis. We wish we had time to name name’s but we need to be on an airplane in a few hours and we hate the thought of leaving anyone out.

We would, however, like to briefly mention our friend “All Over the F*ing Place”. He was one of the first folks to “like” any of our posts and my mom literally could not get over the title of his blog. Every time I’d talk to her she’d say “Can you believe that guy’s blog name?, I wonder if his mom knows about his blog?”. For a while he disappeared off our radar and my mom would actually check in with me to see if he was doing all right. Even to this day it’s quite clear that she is still amazed by the guy who really is “all over the f*ing place”.

Once again, from the bottom of our furball hearts please accept big virtual high fives and hugs. If by chance you would like to keep up with some of our other creative projects please consider following our other tumblr, Tanner Blog.

Just like Frosty we probably will be back again some day, just probably not every day, and most likely not for a while.

Have an awesome holiday and a happy New Year!

Tanner, Vicki, Pam, Toby, and Rigby

FURBALL FLASHBACK 2010 Please enjoy this rather bittersweet...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 19:50:00 -0500

FURBALL FLASHBACK 2010

Please enjoy this rather bittersweet video of all 361 of our photos in under 60 seconds. For some reason I set it to an emotional score by Jon Brion and it seems quite sad. In retrospect something a bit more upbeat may have been a better choice, but I have to be on a plane in a few hours and there’s no time to change it.

Also, a big high five and hug to Fredrik for writing the following about this on his tumblr earlier today…

“I think that I… No… I KNOW that I love you! If there’s any justice in the world, everyone should embrace you and call you two the best people on earth ever. This makes me so happy that I almost cant put words to it. One of the best things this year is discovering you.”

Thank you Fredrick. Your message alone, while obviously quite a bit over the top, made this entire project worth it, seriously. Thank you so much!

Finally, please stay tuned for my Mom’s farewell letter to her fans. I just finished reading it and I have to say it’s pretty amazing, Vicki and I are literally trying not to cry.

Oh, and five Toby’s to anyone who can name what film this Jon Brion tune is from.

Furball Film of the Year: BEST OF FURBALL FILMS 2010 So for some...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 14:37:00 -0500

Furball Film of the Year: BEST OF FURBALL FILMS 2010

So for some reason Vicki and I shot 15 or so of these “Furball Films” with our Flip Camera. Small on budget but big on love and imagination, they were pretty fun to do and I’d say in the end we had about 3 pretty good ones, 5 okay ones, and at least 7 absolutely awful train wreck mega disasters.

Anyway, we spent this past weekend picking out all the best “Furball Film” moments and setting them to the lovely song Strangers by The Kinks. It’s amazing how well some of our footage fits with the song.

Even if you don’t like our films you should still check this out if you are unfamiliar with The Kinks, it really is a beautiful song.

Cheers!

Tanner and Vicki

SMOKING FOR DUMMIES My Mom and Toby say… Surgeon...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:10:56 -0500

SMOKING FOR DUMMIES

My Mom and Toby say…

Surgeon General’s Warning: smoking may cause multiple fractures to the body.

1 Toby - Guess that depends on the contents of the cigarette. The contents of this photo are VERY disturbing to this mom.

So we are a family of non smokers. I have never smoked a single cigarette and am under the impression my children have not either. Now Tanner’s dad smoked from the age of 14 until 29. His idol was the “Marlboro” man and his “Glory Days” we living in Casper, Wyoming. He wore the jean jacket with the sheepskin collar and Stetson hat, just like the guy on the billboard. He quit when he became “Married With Children”.

And I’d like to add…

Only 1 Toby!!! My mom’s final review of 2010 and perhaps ever and we only get 1 measly Toby!!! I demand a recount!!! This is an outrage!!!

That being said I’m pretty happy with this being our final photo as I feel it really captures the toll that being “The Furballs” for a year has taken on our bodies. It sounds rather pathetic as our photos are adequate at best, but before this project we exercised and slept a whole lot more. However, no matter how broken we may feel, we fight to maintain the cheer, thus the Santa Suits.

FURBALL FAREWELL TOUR Sadly today is probably going to be the...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 10:45:00 -0500

FURBALL FAREWELL TOUR

Sadly today is probably going to be the end of “My Mom Reviews My Photos”. Vicki and I are heading to Japan tomorrow and it was decided a while back that this project would not continue in 2011. My Mom and Toby feel the same way. As silly as this project has been it nevertheless takes quite a bit of our time and energy to keep going, and all four of us (five if you count Rigby) need a break. I personally don’t count Rigby as he is a slacker who takes advantage of everyone with his cuteness.

That being said, we have a few treats planned to post later on today so please stay tuned. All that I ask is that once I post my Mom’s farewell letter this evening please “like” it and if possible leave her a nice message. I’d really appreciate that, it will be the last thing posted here today.

Thank you kindly!

Tanner

“YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE” by Debbie Boone My Mom and...

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 11:03:14 -0500

“YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE” by Debbie Boone

My Mom and Toby say…

Maybe you’re getting ready to roast chestnuts on an open fire. Do people really eat those things?

4 Tobys - not promoting smoking, but keeping in line with the famous poem “and his head, the smoke encircled it like a wreath” - way to go, pipe smoking Santa, you should meet Miley.

This is how daughter Dustin (Tanner’s youngest sister) got her name: Doctor said it was a boy, so when a girl popped out I had just read People Magazine a few days before and Debbie Boone had just given birth to twin girls, Gabrielle and Dustin, so it came to be. Living in a very multi-cultural neighborhood of Arlington, VA at the time, my friends from India came bearing great gifts with cards made out to “Dustin Hoffman”. This is a true story, never will forget that day. Guess they didn’t know our last name or had just seen “Tootsie”.

And I’d like to add…

Imagine my disappointment when after nine months of being told that I was going to have a brother my folks walked in with a girl. Sure, they gave her a boy’s name, but still, not really the same. I couldn’t hit a girl.

SIGN OF THE TIMES My Mom and Toby say… 5 Tobys for keeping...

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 12:15:00 -0500

SIGN OF THE TIMES

My Mom and Toby say…

5 Tobys for keeping the holiday spirit, unlike the Westboro Baptists Church whom I am in the midst of composing a letter to - FOR REAL. Ask Tanner about my previous letter writing campaigns. Don’t get this MOM mad.

Speaking of signs: My biggest fear, seeing Tanner and Vicki on Interstate 695 holding signs that read “Will Work For Food”. Really not that bad, since Tanner’s diet consists of chicken fingers, french fries, and pretzels. Just ask Vicki, that boy is picky picky.

And I’d like to add…

My mom is quite serious about writing letters when she is not happy. Off the top of my head she’s sent angry letters to the presidents of Honda, Six Flags, IHOP, assorted hospitals, and Bank of America. And I know for a fact that she spent most of 2010 sending angry letters to one of Maryland’s most despicable slumlords. Because of my mom’s angry letters several low income apartments in Linthicum, Maryland finally have working air-conditioning and heat. I’m not joking, my mom really is a crusader for the people, and is proof that the pen can sometimes be mightier than the sword. Of course if she had a sword that would be pretty damn awesome.

STOCKING STUFFERS My Mom and Toby say… So now we know who...

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 19:55:50 -0500

STOCKING STUFFERS

My Mom and Toby say…

So now we know who was naughty and who was nice - Vicki, of course. She gets lovable Rigby and the boy gets the authentic Perdue oven STUFFER roaster, or maybe a French hen? Cluck, Cluck.

5 Tobys for keeping Spencer’s in business along with other weirdos who buy their adult games/toys.

I decided my next adventure after this blog — I want to be in a flash mob. Have you heard of it? They had one at Annapolis Mall today, Rian told me about it. Never heard of it until I saw it on Modern Family with Rian, awesome.

And I’d like to add…

I feel like several of our recent outdoor furball shoots have been mini flash mobs in that suddenly we look up and there are a few groups of folks across the street looking confused and/or taking pictures of us. I always wonder if they post those photos online and what they write about them. Anyway, the point is, someone please get my mom in a flash mob.

BOBBLE HEADS My Mom and Toby say… So bobbing for...

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 11:08:11 -0500

BOBBLE HEADS

My Mom and Toby say…

So bobbing for marshmallows, a new tradition.

Only 3 Tobys for redundancy. What is the shelf life of those marshmallows in your apartment?

CELEBRATING - Today is my 34th wedding anniversary to Tanner’s Dad. At least one of us has remembered thus far. Really don’t want any gifts. He bought his gift for a work party while I was in Virginia Beach, one of those games involving passing the gift. No one wanted his gift - a Wal-Mart paint your own wooden box from the craft department. This man is dangerous if left alone for too long. It was a $15 limit, but what about a Dunkin Donut gift card like everybody else?

In a talkative mood - so Michael Vick asked Santa for a new dog. Doesn’t Rite Aid still sell those Chia-Pets? Perfect. Where is MaGruff the time crime fighting dog when we need him.

And I’d like to add…

Hahaha! My mom is not exaggerating when she says that my dad has not actually left the house and purchased a Christmas gift for anyone in the last 20 years. The fact that when finally faced with the adversity of actually having to buy a gift he picks out a wooden box from Wal-Mart is almost too perfect. So awesome!

Also, I thought McGruff only fought regular crime, I didn’t realize he fought “time” crimes.

MERRY CHRISTMAS SUPER 8 DANCE PARTY!!! I know I’ve posted...

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 18:44:00 -0500

MERRY CHRISTMAS SUPER 8 DANCE PARTY!!!

I know I’ve posted this here before but I’m giving it an encore for 3 reasons…

1. It’s fueled by Christmas magic

2. My mom mentioned James Brown in her last “review”. If you watch this video up until the bitter end you will see her unique take on the infamous James Brown cape routine.

3. I’m curious to see if this video can somehow find a way to get more “likes” than my stupid “Furballs Eat a Gummy Bear” video. “Hippo vs. Rhino” failed, but maybe this one has what it takes… maybe.

THE “BONG SHOW” My Mom and Toby say… FA LA LA...

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 16:27:45 -0500

THE “BONG SHOW”

My Mom and Toby say…

FA LA LA LA LA, just like Miley Cyrus and her infamous video. Disney would love two furball mouseketeers.

4 Tobys. So about “The Homecoming”, your dad’s got enough junk around here for 48 days of Christmas. I think he’s been watching “The Hoarders”. His new kitchen setup is a row of standing grocery bags… one filled with canned soup, one with UTZ chips, one with Tostitos and more in the living room on chairs. I guess “Papa’s got a brand new bag”. Too young to remember that song. JAMES BROWN!!!

And I’d like to add…

Vicki’s facial expression is priceless in this one. How is it that she can be so damn good at acting and I always just look bewildered and confused? I know it sounds awesome but sometimes it’s not easy being married to such a rockstar talent as I’m often filled with strong feelings of jealousy and/or inadequacy.

BEER PONG, ANYONE? My Mom and Toby say…Now we know how...

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 19:05:00 -0500

BEER PONG, ANYONE?

My Mom and Toby say…

Now we know how Santa got that belly that shakes like bowl of jello. Not potatotes, but dysfunctional ping pong balls, right?

5 TOBYS because “Tis the season”.

So this weekend is the Almon family Christmas party. If Baby Landon is a guest, I will be recruited as the hand sanitizer “Nazi” before touching (Not politically incorrect, remember the “SOUP NAZI)?

Sharing: So Tanner’s dad has been home alone since Thanksgiving while I am in Virginia Beach. I will return tomorrow, and will probably find 12 Papa John’s boxes, 11 Domino’s boxes, 10 empty Budweisers, 9 stale Utz potato chips, 8 pounds of mail, 7 Subway bags, 6 Arby’s wrappers, 5 7-Eleven coffee cups, 4 unmatched socks, 3 notices from Fed-Ex to pick up pkgs, 2 unopened bills due a week ago, and 1 pair of underwear left in the drawer. (To the tune of the Partridge in a Pear Tree, yeah, yeah, yeah) And Tanner knows I’m not kidding.

Add to blog: And if I find 9 ladies dancing, I’ll KILL HIM!!!

And I’d like to add…

Actually, Vicki would like to add… “That’s pretty much the same thing I walk into every time I come home from work, except Tanner’s the only once dancing”.

GOT MILK? My Mom and Toby say… So what are the...

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 17:57:17 -0500

GOT MILK?

My Mom and Toby say…

So what are the prerequisites to appear in these ads anyway? Apparently they are not too selective.

5 Tobys because the new scenery is good, but not sure if those are chunks of “ice milk” or potatoes hanging from above. What happened to good, old fashioned mistletoe.

HOLY COW! Do you really think that Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and the Olsen twins REALLY drank MILK? Not unless it was fat free. Now the real men, I BELIEVE, drank REAL milk. Those men include Cal Ripken, Muhammed Ali, and EVERYBODY loves Raymond. Yep.

And I’d like to add…

Only on “Planet Pam”, I BELIEVE, would Raymond end up on the same list as Cal Ripken and Muhammed Ali.

Furball Film of the Week: WE WISH YOU A FURRY FURBALL While...

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 07:49:59 -0500

Furball Film of the Week: WE WISH YOU A FURRY FURBALL

While perhaps no Citizen Kane or Ghostbusters, this week’s film is not too shabby. It has all the ingredients to be a instant holiday classic…

1. Amazing set design (you actually feel like you are in a blizzard, on christmas, at the north pole, with Santa, actually, you are Santa, and you’re on a horse)

2. Tour-de-Force Performances (we really almost look like we might really be crying… or laughing… sigh)

3. Eggs (probably the most important ingredient of all as they are in all the best stuff, namely cookies, brownies, and cake).

If you happen to enjoy this week’s Christmas tale feel free to recommend us by CLICKING HERE.

Also, big high fives and hugs to DREAMCAMERA and BITSANDBYTES for the recommendations! Thank you!

Have a happy week!

-The Furballs

BEACHES AND CREME My Mom and Toby say… Please tell me you...

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 21:37:57 -0500

BEACHES AND CREME

My Mom and Toby say…

Please tell me you have been using Purell Hand Sanitizer.

4 Tobys. Oh yeah, forgot about your photo credits. Horizon is beautiful.

Please make this last handshake photo…remember Michelle Obama’s very politically incorrect handshake in Indonesia, they don’t touch women who are not in their family. American men should take a hint.

Weather Report: Snowing in Virginia Beach, Landon’s first snowfall, what a day.

And I’d like to add…

This is indeed the last of the “handshake” photos. This is a bit embarrassing to say but last week we accidentally superglued our hands together as we were making improvements to our time machine. Tonight we finally got the damn thing working and went back in time and murdered the inventor of glue (before he invented it). The good news is that our hands are no longer stuck together, the bad news is that a lot of our stuff has fallen apart. We sincerely apologize to anyone else out there who was using glue to hold their stuff together. If it helps we’d like to recommend tape as a potential replacement.

HANDS ACROSS AMERICA My Mom and Toby say… This must be the...

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 15:44:11 -0500

HANDS ACROSS AMERICA

My Mom and Toby say…

This must be the short version of the 5.5 million people who joined hands from CA to NY in May, 1985 to raise money for the hungry.

5 Tobys - People I don’t want to be standing next to: Pee Wee Herman, Mad Max Gibson, Kathy Griffin, Joaquin Phoenix (pre Letterman), Mike Rowe, Bill O’ Reilly, Joan Rivers, Bruce Jenner (really creepy now), anyone with the last name initial of P in Alaska, Nancy Grace, Dr. Phil… and the list goes on and on, picky-picky.

P.S. Just so you all know Tanner’s dad still laughs at “Married With Children” reruns on Sunday mornings and has never seen “Modern Family”.

And I’d like to add…

Does anyone remember when my mom used to at least give a bit of an explanation for her “Toby Score”? I know it was never much of an explanation, but at least it was something. I used to get excited when a photo got “5 Tobys”, now I just feel kind of empty inside. I don’t need pity Tobys mom, if you don’t have anything nice to say about the photo then don’t give it any damn Tobys!!! I’d rather feel the pain of rejection that comes with 1 Toby than the way I feel now, which is numb to the pride and sense of accomplishment that should come with the accolades of the “5 Tobys”.

“FORREST” GUMP My Mom and Toby say… You have...

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 18:47:00 -0500

“FORREST” GUMP

My Mom and Toby say…

You have many similarities to that guy. You show up at the strangest places and have met some very inquisitive folks along the way. “Stupid is as stupid does”, his mama told him, and I agree that LIFE is like a box of chocolates.

5 Tobys… Tom Hanks is BIG, one of the first videos our family watched when we got our very first color TV and VCR. Tanner’s dad wanted the kids to believe that material things were not important - just ask Tanner’s sister, Dustin, about the success of that lesson.

And I’d like to add…

My dad also wanted us to believe that buying and setting up the Christmas Tree was supposed to be anything but fun. The entire “Christmas Tree Experience” often culminated in everyone running for cover as my dad violently ripped and threw branches across the room in an effort to “level” the “God Damn” tree. I remember one branch in particular landed on the chandelier above our foyer and remained there for several months. I’m still not sure if my dad left it there out of pride or spite, either way, not a very Christmasy thing to do, that’s for sure.

LONG GOODBYES My Mom and Toby say… How about cheek kissing...

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 13:08:29 -0500

LONG GOODBYES

My Mom and Toby say…

How about cheek kissing like the Gotti’s or fist pumps like the Guido’s?

4 Tobys. This may be a rumor, but is Snooki being dropped enclosed in a ball at Times Square. Not to worry, she comes with a protective helmet and Tequila in hand. Remember George Costanza and the Bubble Boy. I haven’t been able to stay awake past 9:00 p.m. since 1990 so I’ll miss this major event, too.

And I’d like to add…

I find it pretty funny that my mom mentions Seinfeld every so often on this blog. I don’t think she liked the show so much as she liked the fact that it is one of the few things on this earth that has ever made my dad laugh. Seriously, hearing my dad laugh is a rare occurrence but back in the 90’s the man laughed hysterically for a half hour straight ever Thursday night. I miss those nights. The only other time I can remember him laughing was when he took me to see The Naked Gun when I was way too young to appreciate most of the jokes. RIP Leslie Neilsen, aside from the cast of Seinfeld you were the only guy ever to make my dad laugh… you will be missed.

ENDANGERED SPECIES My Mom and Toby say… Zebras, snails,...

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 16:31:17 -0500

ENDANGERED SPECIES

My Mom and Toby say…

Zebras, snails, deer, moose, and sad news for the Aussies, the Wallaby. And soon to be added to the list in 2011 is “The Furball”, who has become a friendly, household pet amongst our viewers.

This mom has recently been nominated to the “GRAMMYS” and Tanner and Vicki lead hectic and busy lives. Just hope “The Shootist” (John Wayne Flick) doesn’t get to them first, meaning S. Palin.

5 Tobys… New Years Resolution: Stop bashing this New Age Wonder Woman

And I’d like to add…

I’m too lazy to research this, but I’m pretty sure my mom probably just arbitrarily picked some animals to label as “endangered”. I have a feeling that snails are doing just fine and will surely outlive humans. The wallaby may be legit though, as I just don’t see my mom pulling that word out of thin air. Poor, poor, wallabies… the saddest part is that I can’t even picture one to feel sorry for.

THE ARTFUL HANDSHAKE My Mom and Toby say… Ladies, the true...

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 19:57:52 -0500

THE ARTFUL HANDSHAKE

My Mom and Toby say…

Ladies, the true way to get a man is by your grip, seriously. Read that somewhere.

5 Tobys although I’m puzzled by the “handshake instead of a kiss”. Guess Santa is settling down for a long winters nap.

Remembrances: Pearl Harbor, John Lennon, and Elizabeth Edwards/her family.

And I’d like to add…

I love Rigby’s stoic pose in this one. It looks like he’s thinking “Mind your own business candy-pants! Yeah, two Santa wannabes are shaking hands. Yeah, they also happen to wearing furball hats. So what? It’s not like their kissing. Now get the hell outta here!”.