MY MOM REVIEWS MY PHOTOS
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SMOKING FOR DUMMIES
My Mom and Toby say…
Surgeon General’s Warning: smoking may cause multiple fractures to the body.
1 Toby - Guess that depends on the contents of the cigarette. The contents of this photo are VERY disturbing to this mom.
So we are a family of non smokers. I have never smoked a single cigarette and am under the impression my children have not either. Now Tanner’s dad smoked from the age of 14 until 29. His idol was the “Marlboro” man and his “Glory Days” we living in Casper, Wyoming. He wore the jean jacket with the sheepskin collar and Stetson hat, just like the guy on the billboard. He quit when he became “Married With Children”.
And I’d like to add…
Only 1 Toby!!! My mom’s final review of 2010 and perhaps ever and we only get 1 measly Toby!!! I demand a recount!!! This is an outrage!!!
That being said I’m pretty happy with this being our final photo as I feel it really captures the toll that being “The Furballs” for a year has taken on our bodies. It sounds rather pathetic as our photos are adequate at best, but before this project we exercised and slept a whole lot more. However, no matter how broken we may feel, we fight to maintain the cheer, thus the Santa Suits.
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“YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE” by Debbie Boone
My Mom and Toby say…
Maybe you’re getting ready to roast chestnuts on an open fire. Do people really eat those things?
4 Tobys - not promoting smoking, but keeping in line with the famous poem “and his head, the smoke encircled it like a wreath” - way to go, pipe smoking Santa, you should meet Miley.
This is how daughter Dustin (Tanner’s youngest sister) got her name: Doctor said it was a boy, so when a girl popped out I had just read People Magazine a few days before and Debbie Boone had just given birth to twin girls, Gabrielle and Dustin, so it came to be. Living in a very multi-cultural neighborhood of Arlington, VA at the time, my friends from India came bearing great gifts with cards made out to “Dustin Hoffman”. This is a true story, never will forget that day. Guess they didn’t know our last name or had just seen “Tootsie”.
And I’d like to add…
Imagine my disappointment when after nine months of being told that I was going to have a brother my folks walked in with a girl. Sure, they gave her a boy’s name, but still, not really the same. I couldn’t hit a girl.
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SIGN OF THE TIMES
My Mom and Toby say…
5 Tobys for keeping the holiday spirit, unlike the Westboro Baptists Church whom I am in the midst of composing a letter to - FOR REAL. Ask Tanner about my previous letter writing campaigns. Don’t get this MOM mad.
Speaking of signs: My biggest fear, seeing Tanner and Vicki on Interstate 695 holding signs that read “Will Work For Food”. Really not that bad, since Tanner’s diet consists of chicken fingers, french fries, and pretzels. Just ask Vicki, that boy is picky picky.
And I’d like to add…
My mom is quite serious about writing letters when she is not happy. Off the top of my head she’s sent angry letters to the presidents of Honda, Six Flags, IHOP, assorted hospitals, and Bank of America. And I know for a fact that she spent most of 2010 sending angry letters to one of Maryland’s most despicable slumlords. Because of my mom’s angry letters several low income apartments in Linthicum, Maryland finally have working air-conditioning and heat. I’m not joking, my mom really is a crusader for the people, and is proof that the pen can sometimes be mightier than the sword. Of course if she had a sword that would be pretty damn awesome.
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STOCKING STUFFERS
My Mom and Toby say…
So now we know who was naughty and who was nice - Vicki, of course. She gets lovable Rigby and the boy gets the authentic Perdue oven STUFFER roaster, or maybe a French hen? Cluck, Cluck.
5 Tobys for keeping Spencer’s in business along with other weirdos who buy their adult games/toys.
I decided my next adventure after this blog — I want to be in a flash mob. Have you heard of it? They had one at Annapolis Mall today, Rian told me about it. Never heard of it until I saw it on Modern Family with Rian, awesome.
And I’d like to add…
I feel like several of our recent outdoor furball shoots have been mini flash mobs in that suddenly we look up and there are a few groups of folks across the street looking confused and/or taking pictures of us. I always wonder if they post those photos online and what they write about them. Anyway, the point is, someone please get my mom in a flash mob.
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BOBBLE HEADS
My Mom and Toby say…
So bobbing for marshmallows, a new tradition.
Only 3 Tobys for redundancy. What is the shelf life of those marshmallows in your apartment?
CELEBRATING - Today is my 34th wedding anniversary to Tanner’s Dad. At least one of us has remembered thus far. Really don’t want any gifts. He bought his gift for a work party while I was in Virginia Beach, one of those games involving passing the gift. No one wanted his gift - a Wal-Mart paint your own wooden box from the craft department. This man is dangerous if left alone for too long. It was a $15 limit, but what about a Dunkin Donut gift card like everybody else?
In a talkative mood - so Michael Vick asked Santa for a new dog. Doesn’t Rite Aid still sell those Chia-Pets? Perfect. Where is MaGruff the time crime fighting dog when we need him.
And I’d like to add…
Hahaha! My mom is not exaggerating when she says that my dad has not actually left the house and purchased a Christmas gift for anyone in the last 20 years. The fact that when finally faced with the adversity of actually having to buy a gift he picks out a wooden box from Wal-Mart is almost too perfect. So awesome!
Also, I thought McGruff only fought regular crime, I didn’t realize he fought “time” crimes.
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